Every once in a while I look at the search terms people use when trying to find me. Over the past few months, “praise Kink” has been popping up more and more often. This is quite interesting considering that I have never written about it!
It seemed like a fun topic to discuss. What is a praise kink? What are some phrases that you can use to praise this fetish?
Let’s get started!
What’s a Praise Kink?
A praise kink (also known as affirmation play or a “good-girl kink”) is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a sexual fetish that emphasizes overt praise, exaggerated compliments and outpouring of verbal affection. It’s the opposite of a degrading kink.
Although almost all humans love to be praised, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are all praise lovers. They are different. The reason is that a praise kink does involve not only praise but also praise and sex.
It’s basically what it sounds like. A praise kink is someone who doesn’t like being complimented or praised.
You might be asking, “But everybody loves praise?” Many of us love praise! However, being a praise kink doesn’t mean you are the same. People with this kink might respond sexually to praise. Could you send them to Topspace or subspace? (Yes, it’s more common in submissives, but Tops, Dominants, and Tops can also have praise kinks!) Other than the “warm fuzzy feelings” that come with receiving compliments, they can have an impact on your life.
This is a question I do not believe there is any data on. Can someone please finance the study? But I think there’s a lot of crossover between people who love praise in a kink context, and those who use words affirmation as their primary love language.
The softer and gentler type of BDSM is often praised for kink. You don’t have to make it so! It can be anything you want, just like all things kinky.
Do you have a praise kink?
This article might interest you if it applies to your situation. Sorry, but I cannot answer that question for you. Only you can tell if you have praise kinks.
Consider these questions:
Are you a sexual, submissive/ dominating or another kink-based reaction to being praised?
Are you more likely to enjoy sex and kink scenes if your partner provides positive verbal feedback?
If you look back at your most sexy sex scenes, are the compliments your partner made you one of your favourite parts?
These might sound like you.
It is important to remember that praise kinks are often very contextual. Some people may find praise and compliments very hot, while others feel that they are only expressing their desire to be praised or complimented by someone, but this is not the case for everyone.
Some Praise Kink Phrases You Can Use
Asking your partner what praise phrases work best for them is the best way to find out. Listening to and understanding your partner will go a long way in getting you more than any list of ideas.
Here are some suggestions to help you get started if you don’t know where to begin.
- “You’re such a good… [girl/boy/slut/pet/their favourite term of endearment]”
- “You did/are doing well.”
- “You look so beautiful/handsome/sexy when you… [insert activity here]”
- “I am so proud of your achievements.”
- “I love the way you handled that spanking for my pleasure.”
- “That feels incredible, keep going.”
- “I love it when… [insert activity or action here]”
- “I can’t help but think about the time you [insert hot, sexy thing that they did here]”.
- “Your knickers look amazing on your ass”
- “You’re so good at [eating my pussy/sucking my cock/fucking me/insert activity here]”
- “I can’t WAIT to show you off to everybody at the club.”
- “You are strong, I know you can handle it for me.”
- “You are so loved and cherished
- Who’s my good boy/girl/[non-gendered pet name]?
- The perfect [body part]
- I have been thinking all day about your sweet [body]
- My [body part] drives crazy
- I love your [do something]
- Good boy/girl/[non-gendered pet name]…I’m proud of you
- You are a great listener.
- You’re doing so well
- I will show you off
- I can
- Everybody will see that you are mine
- I consider you my friend and will show you to everyone
- Who showed you how to excel at [something]?
These are just suggestions. You will likely come up with your ideas as you explore. The only way to do it right is the one that works for both you and your partner.
You may be a praise kink if you try to say these things in your bedroom. The lock can be both for the praiser or the praise, but not always.
Praise kink is more widespread than you might think. People often don’t realize they like it, because they haven’t tried it. Many people are familiar with praise kink, even though they have done it for years. Perhaps this style of praise doesn’t suit you. As long as your message is respectful, safe, and consensual, we support it. It is best to have at least two people involved. People who have developed trust with one another.
Do you have a favourite praise kink phrase If so, please share them in the comments!