Divorce, as a process, is renowned the world over for being difficult emotionally and physically.
So, what happens if it is ramped up a notch, and you are seeking to divorce an ex who is a narcissist?
Divorcing a narcissist can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissists are often controlling, manipulative, and self-centered, making it difficult to reach a peaceful resolution. Of course, there are some steps that you can take to make the divorce process as smooth as possible.
This article will explore the best tips to follow when it comes to legally separating from a narcissistic ex.
Set Boundaries
A narcissist will likely try to control the divorce process and manipulate the situation to their advantage. Therefore, it’s essential to set clear boundaries from the start and stick to them. This may mean limiting communication to email or text messages and avoiding face-to-face interactions. If possible, aim to have as much of the divorce process handled by a lawyer who will not be manipulated or swayed by the narcissist. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, consider obtaining a restraining order, and if there are children involved, seek help from Two Healthy Homes.
Seek Professional Support
Divorcing a narcissist is 100% guaranteed to be an emotional rollercoaster. So, it’s crucial to seek support from a professional therapist or counselor who can help you cope with the stress and emotional trauma that this person is going to want to inflict on you. They can also provide guidance on how to handle difficult situations and communicate with your ex-spouse effectively.
Hire a Competent Attorney
This was mentioned briefly earlier, but a competent divorce attorney with experience dealing with narcissistic personalities can be a valuable asset in your divorce. Your attorney will help you navigate the legal system, protect your rights, and ensure a fair division of assets. An attorney can also act as a buffer between you and your ex-spouse, reducing the likelihood of heated exchanges and keeping your mental wellness in mind, as well as that of any children you may have with the narcissist. If you have to go completely no contact for the duration of the divorce, then do, and instruct your attorney every step of the way.
Keep Detailed Records
Narcissists are manipulative by nature and are likely to be deceitful, making it essential to keep detailed records of all communication, financial transactions, and legal proceedings. This information can be used as evidence in court if necessary and can help protect your interests.
Stay Focused on Your Goals
You must remember that a narcissist will likely try to distract and derail the divorce process by creating drama or attacking your character. It’s essential to stay focused on your goals and not get side-tracked by their behavior. Always be crystal clear about what you want to achieve from the divorce and work towards those goals. If this becomes too hard, or they are making it unbearably difficult, talk to your attorney.
Avoid Engaging in Their Drama
In a similar vein, narcissists thrive on drama and attention. So, they may try to bait you into arguments or engage in other toxic behavior to get a rise out of you, to make it seem that you are the ‘crazy one.’ Avoid engaging in their drama, and don’t take the bait. Instead, focus on productive communication and moving the divorce process forward.