Are you curious about kink but not sure where to begin? You are not the only one. You’re not the only one. Everyone has different preferences, so it’s about finding what makes your heart sing. You’re open to trying new things, so I have the ultimate list for you. It includes sexy acts and titillating dynamics as well as hot ideas for sex life. This list is a great place for you to start exploring your sexual side.
You can explore kink by yourself. While many kinks can still be enjoyed solo, it is possible to have an intimate relationship with others. Kink is are rooted in communication and consent, just like healthy sex.
it is a good way to communicate your needs and desires if you are new to kink. For example, telling your partner clearly “yes” or not while they play — “no” means “no”. Safe words can be used to communicate your comfort level in a straightforward, easy-to-remember way. This is a good option for beginners, as it’s easy to remember and less likely that you will forget a colour than if you used a random word from the wall a few moments ago.
Here are some sexy kinks you can try to spice up your sex experience.
What is the Difference between a Kink and a Fetish?
The terms “kink”, “fetish”, and “fetish,” are often interchangeable. “Kink” and “kinky” are often used interchangeably to describe anything considered a little edgy. They are usually associated with BDSM. Dr Gloria Brame, a sex therapist, previously explained to Bustle that a kink was any nonconformist erotic desire — from fetishes and BDSM to other non-mainstream erotic desires and practices outside of the heteronormative range.
Brame says that a fetish is a type of kink and can be described as “an erotic attachment to objects or certain parts of the body.” This could include fantasizing about feet or looking at feet to make them turn on or off.
Although kinks and fetishes are often closely linked and are often described as non-normative sexual desires, studies consistently show that most people engage in at least one kink. There are many other fun ones you could try.
Bondage
Bondage is often a gateway kink. It’s one of the most common kinky things people do. You can tie up or restrain someone in many ways. However, it is important to do it safely. You can tie up your partner or restrain them in any way you choose. The best option is to use tools that are designed for bondage such as velcro or skin-friendly bondage rope. Keep the rope and other restraints out of your joints. Never wrap the rope around someone’s throat.
Impact Play
Impact play can be described as a broad term that covers many forms of impact such as spanking, flogging and paddling. If you don’t want to invest in toys, you can explore household items. Silicone spatulas as well as wooden hairbrushes are great options.
To ensure that your bones and organs are protected, you should aim for body parts with the highest amount of fat or muscle when exploring impact play. The butt is the best place to begin on most bodies. Just make sure you don’t go over the tailbone. The more delicate your tool, the more areas are safe — an open palm can lightly strike many parts of the body, but a wooden hairbrush should stick only to the butt or thighs.
Spawning
The most popular form of impact play, spanking, is striking someone’s bottom with a bare hand. It is also known as “bare-handed spanking” and “over-the-knee spanking”, which are the most popular methods. Fun fact: Spawning is so popular that it has its group of enthusiasts known as “spankos”.
Face-Slapping
Many people find it hot to be slapped in their faces. It’s a more intense form of impact play, both physically and emotionally. It’s important to know how to safely do it. The neck and delicate bones of the face are also vulnerable to injury. Face-slapping can be done with just your fingers. You should aim for the hollow of the cheek. Start with the simplest tap possible and move up with communication and clear consent from your partner.
Flogging
Flogging, also known as impact play, is made using a flogger toy. This toy has multiple straps that attach to a handle. The “falls” are usually made from leather or suede. However, they can also be made from any other material, such as bunny fur, or vegan options like rubber. The falls are soft and can be used for flogging in more places than when using canes or paddles. Avoid the face!
Power Exchange
Another umbrella term is power exchange. It encompasses a wide range of BDSM including dominance and submission. Both people enter the power exchange situation as equals and each agrees to give the other power for a set period. A dominant may decide what the submissive wears to a party, or to whom they can speak at events. This power can be used sexually, such as Orgasm Control. However, subtler forms of control (e.g. psychological) are also common.
Submit
Submission is usually considered to be half of the domination-submission power exchange. The submissive partner agrees that they will give control to their dominant partner for a time. This is often called a “scene”. However, even during this time, they can change their mind and stop the play with a safe word. Sometimes, subjection is reinforced by jewellery or clothing, such as a collar.
Domination
Domination is considered to be the other half of the domination-submission power exchange. The dominant partner takes control of the relationship for a set period or until another safe word is used. Sometimes, the dominant partner is called an honorific like “Sir” or “Mistress” or another title that is unique to the relationship. Sometimes it’s hot to dominate. It can also be hot to be the dominant partner. You can always experiment with your partner(s), and find what works for you.
Dirty Talk
Sexting in IRL is a common turn-on and something that’s often explored during kink. Dirty Talk is also a common turn-on. You can give someone some compliments, or you can make elaborate fantasies while role-playing. No matter what dirty talk phrases you choose, have some fun and see what surprises you and your partner(s).
Hair-Pulling
Kinky hair pulling is not to be confused with having your hair pulled on the playground. You can give it a go by spreading your fingers and slipping them into the hair of someone at their base. Then, make a fist to grab as much hair as you can. You can avoid the pain of pulling just a few hairs, and still enjoy the feeling of a firm tug.
Play a Role
Role-playing can involve costumes and props, or simply be a departure from your normal personality. Do you want to be a doctor? Are you a naughty nurse? No matter what your role is, it can be very rewarding to play a role. You might want to be a bit bossier than you are used to in bed. Pro tip: Giving a role a name will make it easier to discover if you are playing a different role than you normally do. If you are used to going by a nickname, or another shortened version of your name, it might be sexier to use your full name to show your bossy self.
Sex Toys
sex toys are commonplace for many, but for others, they can be a bit strange or taboo, especially when it comes to partnering play. Even a basic vibrator can make things more exciting, especially if your partner is allowed to drive it. A body-safe buttplug can be added to your play.
Exhibitionism
Exhibitionism is the act of being seen or showing off. An exhibitionist thrill can be achieved by performing a striptease with your partner. You could also invite other people into your bedroom or check out a play date. Keep in mind that exhibitionism is strictly consensual.
Voyeurism
Voyeurism refers to when you are turned on by the actions of other people. Voyeurism, unlike the peering Tom at the window, is consensual. Voyeurism can be done in a variety of ways, including watching your partner’s porn, masturbating, and many other things.
Another way to explore voyeurism is to go to a party where other people are having fun. Play parties have a saying: “Voyeurism means participation.” Even though exhibitionists don’t need audiences, they can still add energy to a scene. This is one of the many excitements that can be found in a trio, where everyone has front-row seats to their show!
Sex In Public
Some people enjoy the thrill of being caught while hooking up, which is similar to exhibitionism. Public sex is illegal in almost all countries, so it’s best to avoid this.
You can get a small taste of the kink by wearing toys underneath your clothes like vibrators or nipple clamps. It can be fun to send or receive dirty messages while you are out and about. Be aware of bystanders and don’t invite anyone to your kink if they haven’t signed up.
Threesomes
Threesomes, group sex and other common fantasies are often at the top of the list. Many other kinks can be facilitated by having more people around, such as exhibitionism and voyeurism. A threesome can be a great way to discover your sexuality, or even try something new by bringing in partners who have a different skill set.
Sensation Play
Sensation play can be described as a variety of activities that are light and fun, which can increase pleasure during sex. This is a great example of kink and BDSM play, which doesn’t involve physical pain. You can use many tools and toys to create sensations. These include a Wartenberg Wheel, bits of fur and feathers for tickling or teasing, as well as Wartenberg wheels. Sensation play can often be combined with blindfolds to make each sensation a surprise.
Temperature play
A temperature is a form of sensation play that uses tools such as ice cubes and hot wax to create intense or contrasting sensations. You can heat or cool some sex toys like stainless steel. If they are used internally, make sure that the temperature is not too high or dangerous to the tissue.
Electric Play
For people with medical conditions, electrical play can be considered riskier than other forms of gambling. It’s all about the thrill of electricity. Because of this increased risk, it is important to research everything before you dive in. People with epilepsy or heart disease may be more at risk. Before you give the electrical play a chance, please consult your doctor about your medical history and specific health. This is why it’s important to find a kink-friendly doctor who you can be honest and open with.
You can find a wide range of toys for this kink. Many toys can be used for sex with this kink. There may be devices that you can use beyond their intended purpose, such as a TENS unit. However, it is possible to use medical devices for other purposes.
Biting
People used to enjoy biting each other during sex long before Twilight was invented. This is a common kink that can spice any hookup or makeout. However, it is important to not go all vampire. Breaking the skin and being exposed to another’s blood are serious safety and health hazards that should not be ignored.
Orgasm Control
Orgasm control is when one partner has complete control over the time and if they can have an orgasm. This can be as simple as asking for help and saying “please” before engaging in an orgasm. In extreme cases, control may involve denial for days or even weeks before the orgasm.
Anal Play
Anal play may involve anal sex or stimulation that is not external like massage or rimming. Even gentle touch can make the anal area more comfortable. Include lube in your anal play. Delicate tissues can be easily damaged and lube can reduce friction.
To avoid infection, wear gloves when mixing anal and vaginal plays. This is also true for condoms as well as toys. Switch to a new condom when you go from anal to vaginal sex. Also, make sure to clean toys between uses.
Strap-Ons & Pegging
A harness attaches to your body and allows for strap-on play. Dan Savage, a columnist in relationship advice and sex, coined the term “pegging”, which refers to when a strap is used by a female to penetrate a male. However, strap-on play can be enjoyed by anybody or gender. To make penetration easier for you, lay down on your back and allow the other person to control the depth and rate of penetration. Then, relax and enjoy the show.
Humiliation Play
BDSM is a form of BDSM that includes humiliation and embarrassment. You can have verbal or physical humiliation, such as dirty talking or teasing. Or, having someone perform potentially embarrassing activities, like crawling or stripping on the ground. It is important to remember that embarrassment or humiliation can be highly personal and depend on the cultural context. Therefore, it may take some time to identify the right buttons to press in your humiliation play.
Sensory Deprivation
There are many ways to make your sexual experience more intense, including blindfolds and headphones. Sensory deprivation can allow you to focus on other sensations and make them more intense, as you never know what might happen next. To explore, you don’t need a fancy blindfold; any scarf or necktie can do the trick.
Age Play
At first glance, age play may seem contradictory. One or both of the partners will role-play a different age, with the younger person sometimes being called a “little.” People may also enjoy lighthearted activities like colouring or watching cartoons. It is also known as the “dark age” play when there is a sexual component.
Before play begins, it is important to understand your motivations as well as those of your partner. Age play can be a sensitive topic for many people, so you should approach it with caution.
Watersports
This kink is also known as “golden showers” and involves the use of urine to play with, with one partner peeing on another. To ensure your comfort and consent, you should always talk to your partner about the sensation, thought, or sight of urine.
Rough Sex
Rough sex can be described as a broad term that includes many of the same kinks listed in this list. It may include spanking, hair-pulling and face slapping. Rough play can also include tearing off a partner’s clothes or pining them down (consensually — don’t ruin their favourite outfit!).
Gags
ball%2Bgag Drool gags, which are usually a ball and a strap secured to it, are a common part of kink play. Gagas can pose a danger to your health if they are not properly secured or restrict your airway.
Spitting
Spitting can involve humiliation or power exchange. As with any fluid exchange, it’s important to have a clear check-in before you start spitting. It may be hot for some, but not for others!
Wax Play
Hot wax can be dripped from candles, which can lead to a fun form of sensation play and temperature play. It can be a fun way to play with temperature and sensation, especially if the recipient is blindfolded. Use candles that are body safe and have a low heat temperature. Or, you can start with a massage candle.
Clamps
Some people love the intense sensation of a clamp, whether they are using nipple clamps or clothes pins. The sensation of blood returning to the site you have pinched after the clamp has been removed is part of the fun. This can make the area extremely sensitive and the sensations are amplified. You can attach clamps to multiple objects with a string and pull them apart, creating a “zipper”!
Food Play
Sometimes it can be sexy to mix food with your food. Mixing food and sex can cause yeast infections. Avoid bathing suits and use condoms if you are experimenting with food penetration.
Pets
Do you ever wish that your inner pony, kitten, or puppy could play with you? Pet play is your chance, and it doesn’t involve pets. This form of kink allows you to start by playing a role with your partner and then add toys or props. If you’re more interested in fully immersing yourself in the role of pet play, there are public events as well as retreats.
Tickling
People may enjoy tickling in a similar way to any other kink. Tickling fetishes and kinks are a great reminder of the fact that BDSM doesn’t have to be serious. It is also a way to remind yourself that laughter belongs in a dungeon. There are many toys and techniques that you can use if tickling is your thing. Focus on what makes you happy!
Sadism
Sadism, one of the two meanings for the “S” in BDSM is, typically, being turned on by giving pleasure. Marquis de Sade, a famous French writer, gave the term its name. Sadism is a form of kink that involves giving pain consensually (e.g., spanking, flogging or electrical play). As with other forms, make sure you check with your partner to find out what they are up for.
Masochism
The “M” in BDSM stands for masochism. It is a way of being turned on by suffering pain. This kink was named after an author. We get it from Leopold von SacherMasoch. It is important to remember that not everyone likes all forms of pain. You can be a masochist and still hate going to the dentist. However, some people love getting tattooed.
Consensual non-Consent (CNC).
Consensual is a type of “rape fantasy” within a BDSM framework. There is often a fantasy of being “taken” or dominated during CNC. However, safety measures such as safewords and contracts ensure that the experience is consensual and comfortable.
This kink can only be achieved if there are boundaries and good communication. Pre-negotiate nonverbal cues and safewords. This is a dangerous form of play. Clear safewords and direct communication can reduce the chances of misinterpretation.
Foot Play
Foot fetishes have become very common as a result of the interest in selling foot photos online. Many activities can be done with foot play, including the appreciation of high heels or the feeling of them. Exchanging massages or pedicures is a great way to get started for those who are interested in foot care.
Choking
Choking can be dangerous but it doesn’t stop people from finding it attractive. You should be with a trusted partner if you want to include choking in your sex life. Talk to several people about safety and boundaries. Better yet, find classes on choking (and other forms) from trusted sex educators before you start.
You can enjoy the excitement of choking but without the risk to your health. To start, simply place your hand on the throat of someone you love during intimate moments. It might surprise you at the effect that even a gentle touch can have. To feel some pressure or restriction in the airway, you can press your hand against the sternum of someone to create a sensation.
Virtual Sex
Since the invention of the internet, people have used new technologies to have sex. Sexting a new Tinder partner or flirting online with a long-term friend can help you take chances and try new things.
People have become more inventive in playing at distance over the last few years thanks to the advent of video platforms. There are many ways to connect, from one-on-one play and virtual sex parties.
Fisting
Fisting is when you place all of your hands in your partner’s rectum or vagina. It’s a high-level activity and requires constant communication with your partner. Fisting can be intense for all involved and can be very intimate. If you’re interested in giving it a shot, take it slow.
Begin by getting used to the sensation of stretching. Try adding more fingers to masturbation or using larger sex toys. Make sure you use plenty of body-safe oil. Gloves can also be useful to protect delicate tissue from being scratched by your fingernails.
The final step is to make a fist. You must penetrate one finger at a while until your hand forms a duckbill shape. Try to keep it as narrow as you can. The hardest part of fisting is getting past the bent thumb and knuckles.
Mutual Masturbation
Mutual masturbation has been underrated. This kink offers the best of both solo masturbation, such as the ability to have the touch you prefer and the intimacy that comes with partnered play. You can try mutual masturbation online or in person. It will provide voyeurism, exhibitionism, and a deeper understanding of your partner’s pleasure.
You can combine sensory deprivation and mutual masturbation if you feel shy about being listened to or watched. You can share a bed with a blindfold or earphones. While you will be able to see what is going on around you, the details of the situation are up to your imagination.
Leather & Latex
Latex and leather are often associated with kink and fetishes and BDSM. Leather and latex can make a bed more sexy and fun. Leather and latex clothing not only show every curve of the body but also require special care.
Bootblack
Bootblack is a BDSM role that focuses on properly maintaining leather apparel. Bootblacks are often found at kink events offering their services to tips. Slipping into a latex outfit may require you to apply lubricant to ensure it doesn’t tear. This can be very hot!
Aftercare
Aftercare is the time you and your partner spend together after a fun session. It’s a time to feel loved, safe and secure. Although it may look different for everyone this process often involves a glass or snack of water, cuddling up with a blanket, and being wrapped in a blanket. After a sexual outing, aftercare can be more satisfying than regular snuggles. Aftercare, like Savasana (corpse position) at the end of a yoga class, can be a meditative and enriching experience that enhances intimacy and connects with your play partner.
You’re now bursting with ideas. It’s time for you to get kinky. You don’t have to be afraid to try something new. And remember to communicate clearly with your partner(s). This will ensure that you are practising kink safely. This list can be shared with anyone you like to play with. Maybe you’ll both find something that you enjoy!