What Do You Do When Your Libido Is Higher Than Your Partners?

You want sex, and you want it bad, but your partner isn’t making any moves on you, or perhaps your partner isn’t making moves enough. It’s ok to have mismatched libidos, and every relationship experiences dry spells! 

Sometimes, there’s miscommunication that leads to this lack of sex and intimacy, and you have to rekindle it to get the fire started again. It can feel hard, but with work, you definitely can. Remember, every relationship goes through this. 

So how can you remedy this issue? With a few tips and tricks, you can fix it and spark another sexy encounter with each other. 

Best Tips On How To Manage Mismatched Libidos:

Try to be the one to take initiative. 

Even if you feel like your role is to be the one having the moves made on you, no one says you can’t be the one to initiate sex! Don’t be afraid to break social norms. You do not have to wait for your partner to make the first move – it is a two-way street. Your partner may feel like you aren’t into them either. Plus, the confidence you show in initiating a first move may arouse your partner and get them going. Call on your sexuality, and show them that you want them. Take some control and make it clear that you want your partner. 


Try to be more erotic and sexy. 

Do you typically put on granny panties and oversized tees to go to bed? Try to grab some sexy lingerie and make yourself look hot! This sexual energy may spark your partner to look at you in a completely different way. Plus, you’ll feel sexy knowing that you look sexy. That confidence boost will make you all the more enticing. 

Send them a sext

Send them a quick sexy text. If you want them the mid-day, set them up for success. Tell them how badly you want them to take you when you get home. It may feel embarrassing, but once your partner responds, you’ll be so thrilled to get home from work. Plus, sexting can be great foreplay and builds up anticipation for the real deal when you get home. 


Try to touch them sensually.

If you’re cuddling and watching a movie, try to graze their private parts. Kiss them, nip them on the neck. We often forget the power of a sensual touch, and what it can lead to. Sensual touches are overlooked in established relationships and shouldn’t be! Plus, it helps them get excited and counts as foreplay. While you may not fully have sex, you can pleasure each other in other ways. 

Masturbate in front of them.

If you are laying in bed with your partner, pull out your vibrator or dildo and start pleasuring yourself. This, coupled with moans and you saying their name will often be enough to wake up their need to get you off and get inside you. What partner doesn’t want to be the one to make their partner orgasm? Plus, it gets you closer to orgasm right away. 

Wake them up with a blowjob. 

Does your partner wake up in the morning with a hard-on? Take initiative and suck their cock! Wake them and surprise them with the sensation. This will be a surefire way to have a great morning for both of you. With this, we suggest talking it over a few days before to make sure they consent to it. You don’t have to tell them when, but tell them that you’d like to, and make sure they’re on the same page as you. 


These tips are easy ways to bring a spark back into your sex life and show your partner enthusiasm. Sometimes you may both be in a rut worrying that you don’t like each other or want each other. However, if you show interest and enthusiasm, you may just find that you and your partner both wanted each other. Don’t be afraid of being rejected. It’s ok if you don’t both want each other at the same time every time. You can always open the door for deeper and more open communication if it’s needed. Don’t overthink it. Enjoy each other and show each other that you love each other sexually and intimately. 

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