What Are BDSM Punishments?

Regardless of whether your relationship has power dynamics, punishments are a fun way for you to include BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism). Punishments are referred to as playful punishments in the BDSM community. Here’s some information to help you decide if you are interested in trying BDSM punishments.

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How does BDSM punish?

Trying BDSM Punishments – Everyone involved must communicate their needs and wants. The roles of the partners will be agreed upon by the parties. They will also agree on the limits and the dynamics. Some relationships use punishments to reinforce the dominant/submissive power dynamic. Submissive partners are subject to the rules of their dominant partner, and they can be punished or rewarded depending on their behaviour. The dominant partner may choose to punish the submissive or decide the punishments beforehand. In this instance, punishments are intended to discourage bad behaviour and encourage submissive performance. There are a few things you can do to ensure that this dynamic consensually is achieved safely.

What rules apply to BDSM punishments?

A healthy and fun BDSM relies on informed consent and establishing boundaries before any action. This is especially important when humiliation or pain is involved. Both the receiver and the giver should desire punishments, so there shouldn’t need to be any surprises. These are some guidelines to help you incorporate punishments into your relationship.

• Discuss the possibility of punishments with your partner. Check with them if they are excited about the idea. Instead of treating discipline as something abstract, ask your partner if they would like to spank you (or be spanked). During sex.
• Discuss needs and boundaries. Having a conversation with your partner before you punish them will make the experience more enjoyable for all. You might find yourself enraged by the barehanded spanking but less interested in being belt whipped. You should ensure that humiliation is not done in a degrading manner. Some name-calling may be acceptable, while others can be hurtful. It might be worth considering a safe word to allow the submissive partner to halt or pause the punishment when they get tired. can use our original template to create a BDSM agreement.
• There should be a reason for any punishments. You might have explicit rules that punish you if you break them. If not, you can explain to your partner why you are punishing them. You could tell your partner they were naughty and make them apologize for being behaved in a way that you don’t like. No matter what the punishment, it’s important that your partner finds it exciting. This is not the place to make serious arguments or insults.
• Do your homework. Some punishments are more difficult to prepare for than others. To avoid injury, you need to be educated about the dangers and rules of impact play. Similar to bondage, be sure you understand what you are doing and how you can untie your partner safely afterwards. Avoid punishing your partner with dangerous punishments and avoid trying new things without warning.
• Be flexible. Your partner may not like the way you deliver a punishment. Or they might find it more painful than enjoyable. Allow your submissive partner to express their preferences during the scene and then adjust accordingly. If you feel uncomfortable with your partner being degrading in any way, let it be known.
• Aftercare is the care that your submissive partner needs after a BDSM scene. Ask them how they felt about the punishment and if they would change anything. Also, ask what they need now. You can reward your partner by gently cuddling them or massaging the affected area. This will show that you care about what they feel. They may need to be reassured that their partner doesn’t feel the same way about humiliation as they do.

What types of BDSM penalties are there?

BDSM punishments are broadly classified as either pain-free or painful. Direct touch punishments such as rope tying or impact play are considered painful. Painless punishments tend to be less sexually explicit. Some people feel excited by humiliation. This can be caused by various verbal or physical humiliations, depending on the person being humiliated.

What punishments are possible under BDSM?

These are some ideas and categories of punishments that you can use to get started.

1. Impact Play: Impact play involves striking someone with your hands or using an instrument such as a paddle or belt, whip or cane. A barehanded, over-the-knee spanking is a good place to start. We recommend the Sportsheets Whip and Tickle for beginners.
2. Bondage is the use of restraints. This could be used as a punishment by tying your submissive partner in a painful position like their hands or knees and forcing them to remain there for a certain amount of time.
3. Restrictive Punishments: Restrictive penalties involve the dominant partner temporarily taking something that the submissive wants. This could include TV privileges or behavioural restrictions like sex toys and forbidding subordinate eye contact for a certain amount of time.
4. Humiliation This is humiliating your submissive partner based on what both of you find degrading and yet erotic. You might have your submissive partner write “slut” in marker on their body, ignore them while you receive oral sex or use them as a footstool. It all depends on how humiliating you prefer.
5. Servitude: A form of humiliation. Submissive tasks are performed for the dominant partner. This could include giving orders, serving drinks, or rubbing feet for a certain amount of time.
6. Roleplay Some forms of roleplay may be used as punishment. For example, forced ageplay is a way to treat a submissive partner as if they were a child. You might ask them to sit in a corner, crawl rather than walk, or drink from a cup.
7. Orgasm control The submissive partner can only touch or have an orgasm with their dominant partner. This can be done during sex, or as a rule in masturbation sessions.
8. Orgasm Edging: This involves getting up to orgasm, and then taking out all stimulation before you reach climax. One partner may allow the other to masturbate or edge for a set amount of time but never achieve gratification.
9. Chastity Belt: A metal device that secures around a person’s genital area and is intended to limit sex or masturbation. There are versions for male and female genitalia, and they can be used to control orgasm.
10. Long-distance penalties: Even if you are separated, there are still ways that you can incorporate discipline. Micromanagement is a method where the dominant partner monitors and assigns tasks. Submissive partners might be required to text their partners every hour and ask permission to use the bathroom. They may also be asked when they can masturbate.

Although most punishments can be applied to both sexes equally, it is possible to find a discipline that is more appropriate for female partners. Here are some ideas:

1. Vibrating panties Wearable vibrators: These are small, discreet devices that you can slip into your underwear pocket. They can often be worn in public without being noticed. The dominant can have the remote control given to them as a humiliating punishment. They will be able to control the intensity and turn on the vibrator. The WeVibe Moxie Panty Vibe is a good choice for a panty vibrator.
2. Ben Wa ball: If vibrating underwear is not something you like, Ben Wa balls might be a better option. The Kegel balls are small, weighted balls that can be inserted into your vagina. By clenching around them you strengthen your pelvic floor and vaginal muscles. It can be fun to watch your partner’s day while the balls provide subtle stimulation.
3. Gender roles for roleplay: Even if your relationship is not used to gender roles, it’s possible to introduce them as sexual fantasies. You could have your girlfriend dress up in a French maid costume and sweep the floors or become your “Stepford spouse” for the day.

You might also be interested in punishments that are specific to male bodies if you have a male partner. Here are some suggestions:

1. Pegging is a method where a female penetrates a male using a strap-on. A strap-on is a great way to reverse roles and allow your partner to test out dominating positions during sex.
2. Cock and ball torture: This is when the penis or testicles are constricted or pained. This could include light penis flogging or using a cock band to delay orgasm. Avoid any actions that might cause harm!
3. Feminization Playing with gender roles can also be fun for male partners. Your male partner might find it more fun to take on a feminine appearance, or perform traditionally feminine tasks such as cleaning or cooking for the day.

The bottom line

If everyone is on the same page, bondage and discipline can work well to include kink in your sex lives. You can also experiment with different punishments to help you and your partner find your favourite. Browse our collection of BDSM sex toys and accessories to get started.