Is there a more wholesome joke than a father’s joke? You can always rely on a dad joke to make your family laugh, primarily when less and less is geared towards family viewing.
They are funny to everyone. We have compiled the 150 funniest dad jokes for your enjoyment.
Grab a book, read with your family, or by yourself. Our list is sure to make you laugh.
Best Dad Jokes
- What do you call your friends who listen to music together? Earbuds.
- Why does it take so much time to digest bread? It’s a loaf.
- What do you name a Zen master in charge of snacks and drinks? A chipmunk.
- Why wouldn’t the knife fit back into the drawer? He was stuck in a bind.
- Why was the cucumber seed late to work? He was a little in a pickle.
- What kind of music do Santa’s Elves listen to when they work? Rap music.
- What do you call the bull before it grows its horns? A cowboy.
- What do you call brothers and sisters who never fight? Impossible.
- What is the name of a person with the keys to a bathroom? A can opener.
- What is the Internet used by corn farmers? Cobweb.
- Why do genies ride magic carpets? Nobody ever asks for cheaper flights.
- What did the Boy Scout say when asked what knot is better? It’s a T-shirt.
- What shoes does the Tooth Fairy wear? Sneakers.
- What is the name of candy with an attitude? What is the name of the candy that has an attitude?
- What did the dog tell the owner when asked, “How do you look?” Rough.
- Why did the peanut hire a guard? He did not want to be attacked.
- What is the main ingredient that redheads use for sandwiches? Gingerbread.
- Why do pilots drink alcohol before flying? There are no cup holders in the cockpit.
- Where do you store your bacon? Pigpen.
- Why do dogs never plagiarize? They follow their own story.
- Why was Abraham Lincoln denied the right to use the bathroom? He didn’t clean his Lincoln logs.
- What music do you like to listen to when driving? Car tunes.
- Why call a father whom ghosts have beaten? Deadbeat dad.
- What would you call a feline chewing on a Christmas tree’s lights? Shocking.
- Why was dinner served so late? The chef forgot the Thyme.
- What do you call an army soldier who is filling in? Submarine.
- Why are poultry farmers excellent? The fact that they are always picking chicks up.
- Why do refrigerators work well under pressure? They never lose their cool.
- What did the board game collector miss? He had no idea.
- What do you call a bicycle that is overachieving? A tricycle.
- Why do trees lose their leaves every year? They don’t carry a wallet.
- A woman lived in a pair of shoes. Would it be a Shoplex if you put her shoe on top?
- What president’s favorite animal was the owl? Herbert Hoover
- What was the captain’s reaction to being thrown out overboard? He was a little salty.
- Why should butchers earn more money? There are many things at stake.
- Why was the release of the scissors pushed back by a year? The scissors were not very sharp.
- Where can athletes have their uniforms fixed? New Jersey
- What do girls call playdates for lunch? Barbecues.
- Why did the poodle ask for warm buns? He was a Chili Dog.
- What happens when geese leave their formation? They do it on the fly.
- What is the name of a policeman involved in a drug bust? Weed Wacker.
- What do you call an entire shopping cart filled with junk food? A waste basket.
- What is the secret weapon used by telemarketers? Cell phones.
- Why did she keep kissing goodbye to the ocean? It didn’t stop moving.
- Why does flour get used by bakers? Why do bakers use flour?
- Why do vampires dislike garlic? They can’t brush their teeth.
- Why shouldn’t you visit a graveyard at night? You are in grave danger
- Why are stop signs in red? We wouldn’t know where to stop if we couldn’t read the signs.
- Why was the staircase of the carpenter built incorrectly? He missed a step.
- What is the favorite food of ghost pandas? Bam boo.
- Why was it that the snowman couldn’t withdraw money from his account? The snowman’s account was frozen.
- What are the similarities between narcolepsy and con artists? They always lie.
- Why did the newspaper boy complete his route so quickly? He had no breaks.
- What does squash wear on the beach? Zucchini bikini.
- Why did the stones clasp hands in a circular pattern? They wanted to start a rock group.
- What do clouds dress up as? Rainbows.
- Why didn’t he stop the film for his friends? There was no pause.
- What is a snout that has no owner? No one knows.
- Why don’t Pirates Rake Leaves? They don’t like yard work.
- Why shouldn’t you take the paper to the gymnasium? It is too easy to rip.
- What do you call someone who steals pigs? Hamburglar.
- What are the names of the ingredients that you mix with lemons called? What do you call the ingredients that you combine with lemons?
- Why did the golfer purchase new shoes? He made a hole-in-one.
- Why couldn’t a vampire smoke in bed? He didn’t like his coffin.
- Why don’t we play basketball with the sanitation workers? They are too trashy.
- Why don’t magicians wear wigs? They keep the hair inside their hat.
- Where do crazy criminals live? Nut cell
- Why did the gardener proceed cautiously? The amateur seed was not available.
- What is the most essential part of deserts? Cooking keys.
- Why did the musician use the saxophone to play? He couldn’t trump the saxophone.
- Buffalo wings, Buffalo wings. What is the name of Buffalo’s different parts? Buffalo wings
- What’s the best time to cook fish? Friday.
- Why did the duck break its bill? He needed some money.
- Why do guys prefer girls who have nice handwriting? They have excellent I’m.
- Why did the government close down KFC? It was a coup of the chickens.
- Where do Eskimos store their money? Burbank.
- Why should you not buy an electric vehicle with a credit or debit card? They charge too high.
- What is another word for a detour? Subway.
- What is the name of the third-best spy? Spy C.
- What is the name of a person who buys everything in a shop? Stockbroker.
- What are the names of French desserts that make you sickeningly sick? What do you call French desserts that make you sick?
- What is a dumb person called in the woods? Forrest Gump
- Why shouldn’t you accept free tuna at all? It seems a bit fishy.
- Where do vegans dock? Green bay.
- What is the name of a horse show? Horseplay.
- What did the farmer do to eliminate the rodents in his field? The problem was dealt with early.
- Why did the elephant arrive late at the airport? He forgot to pack the trunk.
- Why did the Beaver give up building his home? He couldn’t care less.
- Why are frogs great gardeners? They are natural gardeners.
- What happened to the gun that didn’t fire? He was fired.
- Why don’t you make guitars out of cheese? It’s too stringy.
- Why are oceans more clean than lakes? There are mermaids.
- What is the metal that can ruin your plans called? Tin foil
- Why was the client upset with his soup? It was only a tiny amount of chili.
- Why was the roofer late? He had shingles all over the place.
- Why should you not trust thorny bushes? They are a bit shady.
- What do you call an ecstatic farmer? A Jolly Rancher.
- What did the doctor tell the diabetic patient about his condition? Can I give it a try?
- Why is it good to be at the bottom? From there, you can only move up.
- What do you call jewelry that you receive from relatives? Heir rings.
- What is the term for expired sweets? Rotten candy.
- Why was the dog so tired? Roofs too much.
- Why was the breakfast tea so cold? It was missing a tee-shirt.
- Why were the animals all so jumpy? It was a leap year.
- What is the name of a writing tool in a window or door? A pen sill.
- Why was the Bee forced to move? They did not beehive.
- How do astronauts travel below ground? Wormholes.
- What do you call an animal whose flight has been delayed? Ground beef.
- Where can you find the best food? New Delhi.
- What do you name cows that are packed tightly and eat one another? What is a bull?
- What is the name of a boring swimming dog? A dull pool.
- Why don’t tightrope walkers talk about their mistakes? Last fall.
- Why is it that you can never rely on the weather when moving? Raindrops.
- What is the name of a fighter who has two black eyes on his face? A pair of socks.
- Why do dogs avoid clocks? Ticks are not a favorite.
- Why did they watch him walk up to the second level? He couldn’t tell why people were staring at him.
- Why do teachers give hints so often? There are no pockets on their dresses.
- Why did the carpenter change the house from wood bricks? He was bored.
- Why did the vandal of the cement factory get away? There was no concrete evidence.
- Where do musicians compose their songs? Notebook.
- Where do mean dogs grow their vegetables? Grrrrrden.
- Which library is the closest to Forest? The branch of the tree.
- What can you do if you cannot pay your electricity bill? You can have the money transferred.
- Why was it that the lawyer’s business was in danger? He needed a brand new suitcase.
- Why didn’t the child manage to catch the bubbles when he tried? He kept blowing bubbles.
- Why was there no king in the house? The deck was complete.
- Where can you prepare flower food in your home? Flower pot.
- Why did it seem so challenging for kids to find cups? They forgot their glasses.
- Why did the bride return her dress to you? She couldn’t get married.
- Why do bees wear glasses? The C is necessary to reach the D.
- What does a tree say to another mean tree? Leaf me alone.
- Where do Easter eggs dance together? Basketball.
- Why did the light not want to be friends? He was dim.
- Why do frogs hesitate to cross a busy street? They don’t wish to croak.
- Why was the tavern so clean all the time? It was soap.
- What did the basketball burglar say when the police arrived? Let’s bounce.
- Why was there no foul language permitted in the theatre? It was a drama.
- Why did the priest bring a torn t-shirt to church? It was holy.
- What did the drill say to the wood piece that tried running? You’re screwed.
- What is the name of two cats tied together? Octopus.
- What did the drummer tell the farmer? Nice beats.
- Why did the garden seem sad about the salad? The head of lettuce.
- What did the fork say to the knife about the tough steaks? Let me give it a try.