Narcissists can be self-absorbed and abrasive. These people can be difficult to deal with and even more difficult to live with. It’s tempting to just clap back after one of their tirades.
Worse, however, is the long-term consequences of being exposed to a narcissist. They can turn innocent victims into emotional shells by being manipulative and hurtful.
Worst, some narcissists can be so skilled at manipulating your mind that it’s difficult to determine if they are manipulating you or if you are really at fault.
The good news is that it’s much easier and more rewarding than you might think to resist a narcissist. This article will provide eleven humorous things you can say to a narcissist. It also includes information about how to keep yourself safe and give them their medicine.
Five Things You Can Say to a Narcissist
Let’s start with the five things you can say to narcissists when they are being themselves. These five claps work best when they are being rude, selfish, ignorant, or impractical to you. To make them miserable, it’s best to use a sarcastic tone.
1. “You Don’t Know What Your Problem is” “You don’t know you are the problem.”
This is what you should tell a narcissist when they talk about a problem that they have. “You are the common denominator of every situation that you just described to me,” and prepare for either a violent denial or some icy silence.
The truth is that some narcissists are unaware they are narcissistic. Most of the stress they experience in their lives is caused by their poor interpersonal skills.
This statement could shake them out of their stupor, and help them get on the right track.
2. “I am not an astronomer, but I know the Earth revolves around the Sun and not you.”
Are they entitled or spoiled? Then they ask if you agree with their statement. If you can think of something, give them this line.
Is this going to make them crazy? Maybe. It might also give them insight into their self-centeredness. While they might be in a rage right now, one day they will look back at your line and say, “Gosh! I think that I’m the centre”
3. “No Sponge can beat your abilities at self-absorption”
This line is for the narcissist who brags about his self-worth and the things he “deserves”. This line is funny and sarcastic and still hammers home the message better than any other.
They complain about you: “What?” When they complain: “What?
This might cause a rift in your relationship with the person but it is for the greater good. It’s a win to get a narcissist from your life.
4. “You Live Life Like It’s All About You. Why Do You Think You’re Alone?”
This line is for when the narcissist whines about being alone or whines about having fair-weather friends leaving him. It is a kind gesture, especially if the narcissist asks why people leave them.
Sometimes all that is required to make a narcissist change is to realize that his self-centeredness leads him to misery. Although they may not be able to change immediately, a simple line like this can help them grow.
5. “Speedy, Hit the Brakes.”
This line is for the narcissist who jumps to conclusions. This line lets them know that they are making decisions too fast and not taking enough time to research all options.
It is always a good idea to force people to think twice before making a decision based on emotions. Keep in mind the rule: Follow your heart if it’s life or death. Use your head for everything else.
What happens if the narcissist insists upon jumping to conclusions? It’s better to leave as in any other situation.
You can cut ties with them and put distance between you. Also, you can set limits on how easily they can reach you. Remember: You decide what you will allow.
Let’s now move to the next section. What happens if the narcissist does something that hurts you? Do you have any great comebacks that can put them on the defensive There are six? Each one will be a favourite.
Note: Although this post is intended as a scorn, it is not advised to say it to a Narcissist. It will likely backfire on you. This article is not intended to be a guide.
Six funny comebacks from Narcissists
You can’t avoid it. If you spend enough time with a narcissist they will say things that will hurt you for the rest of your life.
These comebacks can be used to reduce pain and damage and make it worthwhile. This will give you the chance to see if your loved one can handle it.
1. “Sorry, You Feel That Way. Let me buy you a nice cup of Get Over It.
Sometimes, a narcissist may ask you for your opinion about something and you will give it. Then they make you feel guilty for saying something like this.
These situations make it a perfect place for a comeback such as this. You say “Sorry that you feel that way.” This is my take and I will stick with it.
This comes back shows that you are standing firm and not bending over backwards to please others.
It might cause you to break up with the narcissist. However, it can also help balance the scale as it protects you from abuse and (possibly), leads them towards change.
2. “Did My Self-Absorption Get in the Way of Yours?”
This is where you vent a bit or get something off your chest. Your narcissist friend hijacks your rant to make it all about them. “Oh, yeah. That reminds me of when I …”
You then try to return the topic to your rant. And again, they try and make it about you. You even try to invalidate your rant with a play on words: “I don’t know which is worse, your situation or what I experienced …”.”
You say, “Did your self-absorption get the best of you?” and you stand up and walk away.
You might hear them calling you, “I was just trying to help, you ingrate!” but they don’t care. It’s impossible to make them feel better. Narcissists are known for having zero empathy.
However, a stinging rebuke such as this might indirectly change their minds. This is why this is the best approach.
3. “Get over yourself. “Not everyone wants to be in your shoes.”
This happens when a narcissist is on a high horse and starts saying things such as:
- “Look at me, …”
- “You should do the same thing I did …”
- “You know what you did wrong?” …”
You don’t have to listen to a lecture if you are not able to bear it. You are not the only one who wants to be like you.
They will probably be furious at the moment. That’s okay. This is a flaw in their personality that no one has ever seen before.
4. “Thanks for reminding me why nobody likes you. I Almost Forgot.”
If a narcissist is particularly meaningful to you, you can let them have it by saying this: “Thanks again for reminding me why no one likes you.”
Narcissists believe that they are popular and liked by everyone, and anyone who disagrees is insane. They will be shocked to hear this statement and then wonder if it is true. Is there anyone like me?
Will they ever change? It’s impossible to know. We can only send them the message in their language: Power.
5. “Yeah! Let’s ignore everything I said and talk about you more.”
This is when a narcissist interrupts you and starts a conversation about them.
If they don’t apologize, be prepared to use this statement as a way to end the conversation. HINT: They almost always won’t.
6. “Yeah, sorry for forgetting I only exist when you want something.”
This is for when a narcissist asks for another favour. You know that they will quickly forget about you once they have done it for you. You politely decline the request, and then they make a joke about how unhelpful or insincere you are.
You can clap back with this statement and they will never ask for anything else.
Here are eleven funny and satisfying responses to a narcissist. Enjoy the fireworks!
You might think, “Wouldn’t these statements make you look like the bad guy?”
Perhaps. The narcissist may even spread toxic misinformation about your body.
That’s okay. You don’t know why? People are not stupid. They will know when it is hogwash. They will eventually see the truth about the narcissist just as you did. And what about those who don’t? They don’t matter.
What are the Strangest Things Narcissists Do
Narcissists do a lot of strange things. You probably already know at least one: They dominate conversations. They are very impatient and have little empathy. They also struggle to find the triggers that they need so they can control their impulses.
If you have been in a serious relationship or a long-term relationship with a narcissist before, you should be familiar with at least two additional quirks.
First, they love-bomb you with affection and attention to win your trust and dependability.
Another quirk is that they don’t take responsibility for things going wrong, like everything’s fault.
Knowing all the quirks of a narcissist in advance can help you avoid getting hurt. Here’s the complete list of red flags you should be looking out for when dealing with a narcissist.
What are your responses to a Narcissistic Insult??
Is there the best way to handle a narcissistic insult? There is. It’s easy to ignore them.
Here’s how it works: They try to get a specific reaction from you when they insult or rile you up.
They might want you to be mad, which allows them to play the victim card, or they may want you to do something to discredit you (which gives them more ammunition against you).
They will not get what they want if they are ignored. Instead, they’ll feel insulted, and used, and you remain in control.
You can ignore them and still have a chance to end a conversation that isn’t going well.
How to make a Narcissist miserable?
Let’s suppose you want to get in on the narcissist. What can you do? You should ignore a narcissist to get their attention.
You can make a narcissist miserable in other ways, too.
- You do the exact opposite of what they ask you to.
- Success is more than you thought possible
- Simply say “No” to their demands
These come along with the 11 hilarious comebacks that you’ve read in this article.