Reddit is a great place to find information on the internet. It is the site that functions under the name “the front page of the internet”, and it’s a civil place for discourse with moderators, admins, as well as subreddit rules. It’s the wild west of the internet, as my sibling used to call it. It’s a raucous, often intoxicating, place where anyone can find, see, discuss, and multiply. It’s no surprise that the subreddit “r/onlinedating” and other similar subreddits are full of active communities. This page allows people to ask for help, have their dating profiles reviewed (read as torn to shreds), and vent to others who can relate to their frustrations. This column is a compilation of some of the most popular posts and comments. I sort them into the following categories and give a brief explanation as to why I chose each one.
Overview:u/Al_pall struggles to find matches in his online dating search. After a three-month affair with a woman he matched with for three months, he realized that it was over. He’s open to talking to new matches, even though it ended. He is ready to begin over. Now he wonders if Tinder is punishing his (???). He deactivated his account and matched him with people he doesn’t find attractive. He attached a link from his tinder profile and sought advice from fellow Redditors.
Surprisingly Sound
u/Fidodo
It seems like a lot of people are being picky. Your profile is fine. It could just be the times. When was the last time you looked seriously? It could have been late summer, or the start of a new school term. This could indicate that there was more activity. However, now that we are in a post-holiday covid boom there is less.
Ah, the balm for rationality. Your practical perspective on the situation is a great help, r/Fidodo. This comment was the most helpful and comforting. The comment section can easily spiral out of control with many well-meaning advisors pointing to camera angles, bios or haircuts to help someone who is having trouble dating. Changes in circumstances and times can change the dating landscape. This is not the fault of anyone’s tinder bio. There is no secret formula to success. It takes perseverance, authenticity, and sometimes a little bit (but not too much!) We can help you along the way.
The Good-intentioned, but generally Unhelpful to Anyone
Since they were both pretty useless and didn’t require an explanation, I decided to take two bites.
u/QuesadillaDeCoog
This is the one you look like when you do comedy
Edit: It’s Trevor Wallace
A comment is unhelpful because it is both off-topic and vague. Do you think it is a positive quality to be like Trevor Wallace? This could be used to help r/Al_palll on his quest for connection. Unclear.
u/ItsInTheVault
Mask photos are not my favourite. Do you think that this mask is needed outdoors?
The original poster confirmed that it was necessary to take the photos in the area where they were born. He was also praised by Redditors for his dedication to public safety. Many suggested that he keep these photos as part of his profile. This is because a potential match may feel more secure knowing that he takes the pandemic seriously, and does not wish to put others at risk while travelling. You can read more about pandemic dating.
The Garbage Pile of Unwelcome Sexuality
u/idiocracyishappening
I want to be kind. Although you are a beautiful human being, your appearance is still very boyish. You still look very boyish. You may compete with more mature men depending on your age and preference. This is especially true since women are more likely to date older men. This is something you should think about. All the best!
It would have been the kindest thing to say that, I think. The original poster is an adult. To suggest that they haven’t reached the heteronormative masculinity threshold and may not be able to find a connection is not a good idea. Although there are some nice phrases in the post, I think the commenter was trying to be helpful. However, overall, the comment encourages and confuses rather than instructs and uplifts. It’s a bummer that the commenter said “you haven’t grown into your manhood yet”.
Two things have become clear after reading hundreds of comments: if you are having trouble dating, you are not alone. You can also ask for help when needed… but maybe not ask Reddit. Ask one of your friends, they’d love it.