Are you a newbie? Do you hear about BDSM? Are you curious to know what is? Do you want to know what it’s all about? This is the right article for you. You will be given a rundown of tips to guide you on BDSM, fetish, or kink. It can be called any of the three.

Many first-timers usually get confused about what to do when they are ready for BDSM bedroom excitement; although there may be prior knowledge from watching or reading Fifty Shades of Grey it still doesn’t act as a proper guide. There is a difference between reading it and doing it.

Here are some of the BDSM Bedroom tips you will be needing to serve as a real guide.

Initiate a BDSM Conversation 

This is the first and most important part. Since you are too curious to practice BDSM to know what it’s like, talk it out with your partner first. Discuss your sexual fantasies with him or her.

If you have never had this conversation, you may start by referring back to a movie, an article, or a book. Then suggest reading it or watching it with you.

You can choose to be blunt about it by going straight to the point. Say what you feel about trying BDSM bedroom activities. That will earn you more respect from your partner for being blunt about how you want to be sexually involved with.

Mutual Interest 

It is assumed that you have mentioned it to your partner. If you both have the same interest, all is well and easy but in a situation where it’s the other way round, watch out for body language.

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A no with a firm voice means no. If it turns out like this don’t push it because you will be the one on the losing end if you try gaslighting your partner into agreeing.

In some situations where you get a yes because they want to please, look out for red flags. If you start seeing any sign that the enjoyment is one-sided, you can put a stop to everything.

BDSM bedroom explorations are meant to be enjoyed by both parties, be you the submissive or the dominant.

Give your Bedroom an Erotic Makeover 

If you have watched Fifty Shades of Grey, you will see that Chris takes Anna to a special room where they have all their BDSM equipment.

You should not necessarily have a special room for your BDSM bedroom activities but there should be a retouch. Try to set the stage. Dot all your I’s and cross your T’s in order not to get turned off.

Play With Ideas of Restraints 

Even if you are not into BDSM bedroom activities yet, you can play with ideas of restraint psychologically. It is called edge play where you bring yourself or your partner and area of orgasm then hold it back.

It plunges deep into your psychological limits. Try to explore your sexual fantasies because sexual freedoms lead to a powerful orgasm.

Use Ice Cubes 

How does running an ice cube on the restrained blindfolded spanked ass of your partner sound to you?

The keyword here is exploration so you are meant to try any kind of fetish your body accepts.

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Compare Toys 

The both of you will need to talk about the kind of toy to buy. Some of them are quite extreme so you must have a mutual agreement of using them. It should be toys that you guys are comfortable about having or displaying them.

BDSM toys range from comfortable ones to ones with degrees of extremity. The extreme ones can be harmful sometimes.

Communicating with your partner will help you make some changes, instead of handcuffs you use ties, instead of whips you use feathers.

Use Safe Words 

A hugely important part of BDSM is the use of safewords. It is a word used by the couple, especially the submissive, to notify the dominant of when to stop when not to. You shouldn’t necessarily use No and Stop because the whole point of BDSM is to make you feel like someone is forcing himself on you. You may use silly words like “turkey”, “glue” or “rainbow” as your safe words.

You may use traffic light signs. Red for stop,  yellow for slow down, Green for keep going. Although most times it can be really hard to speak up in times like this. Just establish a non-verbal form of communication that you both will be able to relate to.

For instance, if you like something you can moan or give a thumbs up as a sign of appreciation. If it’s getting very intense, show the sign of dial down. If you don’t like it all, raise your hand to indicate a stop sign. Make sure you always respect your safe words.

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Be Creative 

Being kinky is mostly about being creative with sex. All that dominance and role-play should just be seen as fun. Put on a sexual performance or ask your partner to perform for you while you watch.

You may masturbate or strip in a sexy way for your partner especially when they are fully clothed.

Try turning them on in public. For instance, when both of you are on a date together, excuse yourself, go into the restroom and remove your panties. Come back to the table and slip it into the hand of your partner under the table.

Also, try playing wrestling or turn on a sports game or better still play a sexual act that has either of you performing when the other scores a point. Whatever you decide to try, just be creative about it.

Anyone interested in BDSM must take note of these tips so you don’t make mistakes. BDSM is not as bad as it looks like unless you want to go for extreme masochism and masochism. It is not even advisable for a beginner to go to such an extent.