marriage

Reasons for divorce

Divorce has been a very serious problem in today’s life, and this particular problems has done a great harm to many families and has even led to many death cases. “Reasons for divorce”

Today we will be writing on the reasons for divorce, for there are lots of things that can lead to divorce which may or may not be known to everyone in life today. But today we will be giving you step by step reasons why divorce has been a very hectic problem and why is so in our society today. Read carefully and try to follow the steps to know the exact reason why divorce has been a talk of the town today.

Reasons for divorce

 

1. Wrong choice of partner.

This is the number one and the most important reason of divorce on many marriages today.
Most people are fond of making a choice due to their friends or their family is in support of it. Some pick their partner through other people. Some always marry because of familiarity, and forget to know or to look into it in order to see if you can live with that person. Some people forget to look for the family background and the upbringing of that person that they wish to marry. You forget to look into the kind of life your proposed partner may have lived, his biography and jump into marriage maybe, because your mates are marrying, or that you are now an adult to marry or that you are old enough to make your choice.
Yes. You maybe old enough to make your choice but try to be old enough to make the right choice, try to be old enough to search every necessary things needed to be checked about the person you want to marry, no matter how long it may take you so that you won’t make a mistake.
Marriage is a union of a man and a woman to become husband and wife. And not just the ring and the love wishes you vowed to yourselves, but it’s the union of both souls and heart. Of your heart and souls is not made up, do not try to patch things up if you marry him or her. There is nothing to patch up there, if it’s inborn, it’s is inborn indeed, so don’t make the mistake of saying this words “if I start living with him or her I will get to love him or her more”. NO. There’s no such thing. It is very rare in life and do not try, for you won’t be able to know if it will work for you or not.
So take note.
For instance. A man may say “I don’t really love this girl but my mum and dad loves her, I believe if I marry her I will start loving her”. Same thing also goes to a woman. As time goes on, you may notice that you finally did not fall deeply in love with her but it just for your mother’s or family’s sake you are into the marriage. You will notice that you may need to feel comfortable staying with her on the same roof, and that might bring both of you misunderstanding which may lead to divorce if care is not taking.

2. Not ready for marriage.

This is another important reason, if you know that you are not ready for marriage and you are planning to go into marriage, my dear it’s a very wrong thing to do. If you are not ready, there is no way you will control yourself in that marriage. You will lack so many things and you may not be able to understand the rules of marriage due to you are not ready for it.
Because you are not ready for marriage, you may not notice when a temptation has come and how to conquer the temptation. There is no marriage that is perfect but there’s always a better one. And that better one is achieved with wisdom and understanding. But when you are not ready for that, you will see that to achieve a better union in your marriage will be very far from you. And that may lead to divorce straight. When you are not ready, you will always regret in any mistake that your partner may do to you. And you will always wish to be single so that you will be living your life the way you want it. So this is very important and is the reason for divorce. “Reasons for divorce”

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3. Extra marital relationship.

Extra marital affairs in marriage relationship is a very big problem that is triggering divorce today in our life. Many married people are seen having an affair with opposite sex apart from their partners. And that has been a very big problem to their marriage. Because nobody is a fool, even if you are doing it outside thinking that your wife will not know or that your husband will not know. Note that every day is for the thief but one-day is for the owner. Nothing is hidden under the sun, small time he or she will observe what you are doing at his or her back and that may lead to divorce.
In the society today, men are normally found with the act because they may be think that their wife will not do anything even if she finds out, that he is the man of the house. Some men take it that a man is in entitled to marry as many wives as he wants. Yes nobody objects that, but to keep an affair outside your marriage is not worth it. Even if you want to marry another wife, at least make sure to discuss with your wife and let it be for a tangible reason. Even do, tell her before you marry her so that she will be aware of your plans.
Again you as a woman, you may think that your husband does not worth it again or he is not active in bed again, why keeping an affair outside your marriage. Instead of working with your husband to build up your sexual lives. Or is it because of money. Are you blind when he married you? Didn’t you see that he is not that rich or maybe because he isn’t rich anymore. You see all these reasons are the cause of divorce in our world today. If you can be able to control your longer throat, you will see that there will be less cases of divorce.

4. Inadequate intimacy.

Inadequate intimacy in marriage can lead to divorce. When the both partners who are supposed to be very close to each other, both physically, mentally and emotionally, are found staying away from each due to one stupid reason or the other. You will see that the chances of divorce is knocking at their door. Because very soon they will get tired of each other and will start admiring another family that is living well, thereby causing their own relationship to be ill. You are supposed to be intimate with your partner, for a better connection between your heart and body. For when the two hearts are connected together, it will be hard to separate them.
When you start avoiding your man or your woman whenever he or she is coming closer for emotional reason, you are welcoming the spirit of divorce into your relationship and when it will come, do not cry for God’s assistance. What reason will you give for not touching your partner, or satisfying them on bed, what will make you to be very close to your partner. If you are not able to make love with your partner, tell me where and how are you jerking yourself off anytime you are horny, or will you tell me that you are spirit that do not have urges?. You see , stop deceiving yourself and inviting wrath into your relationship. Get close to your partner, do not cheat on him or her. Focus your affection on him or her to avoid tiredness that may lead to divorce.

5. Inferiority complex.

Inferiority complex is one of the most common reason for divorce, but it is being ignored by our people may be because they think it’s not necessary, but it is very necessary and needs to be looked into.
When you want to marry, make sure you marry some one you can easily talk to or someone you can play with and can communicate with. Not someone that you are always afraid of, someone that is 100 times above you on all angles. Marry someone that accepts you for whom you really are and what you turn out to become. Do not Marry because of riches or because of any reason so that you won’t feel inferior in his or her presence all time. Inferiority complex can make you not to be happy in your marriage due to you are always afraid of him or her . You will be acting as a house help in your own home. That one will make you, anytime another man or woman treats you like a woman or a real man, you will be easily carried away from the love and affection given to you. Inferiority complex can make you wanting to leave your marriage, because you may think that you are not comfortable with the marriage, or that you may be feeling that you are not being loved as it’s supposed to be. Inferiority complex can make you dance to every tune that may be played for you without any reasoning of your own. Inferiority complex can make you loose your man or your woman to another man or woman without you doing anything. Inferiority complex is 100% one of the reason for divorce in many marriages today. “Reasons for divorce”

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6. Over jealousy and lack of trust/insecurity.

Being too jealous over your partner, and being insecure towards your relationship or marriage is another reason for divorce.
For instance. When you are too jealous with your partner, it may make him to be tired of you and he may misunderstand that it’s being obsessed that is causing the jealousy. And you may be as well unsecured at the same time not trusting him or her in what ever reason he or she may be telling you. Due to your too much love, it may lead to misbehaving and also to divorce. Trust in a relationship or marriage is a major key to a lasting marriage, but where there’s no trust in marriage, you will be insecure and jealous of your partner which may lead to divorce.
A trustworthy person never accepts any third party opinion in his or her marriage, but a person that always doubts his spouse or her spouse end up loosing that spouse of his or hers. Because your actions will be uncontrollable and your partner may start getting tired of you. And will welcome or consider any thought of divorce.
You just try to build up trust in your relationship, and avoid being too jealous and insecured in your marriage.
Maintain a truthful marriage relationship so that your marriage will last long.

7. Ineffective communication.

Ineffective communication is a lead to divorce in so many marriages for it contributes so many things. Let’s start,
Ineffective communication includes;

a. Unable to listen to your partner.
b. Unable to understand his her feelings.
c. Unable to explain things to your partner.
d. Unable to ask .
e. Unable to Persuade romantically.
f. Unable to observe.

Unable to listen to your partner very well, is an error in communication, because for your communication to be effective in your marriage, you should learn how to listen to your partner so that you will be able to understand what he or she is complaining of and try to address it properly. Give ear to whatever he or she have to say for there is a meaning in everything he or she is saying only if you pay attention to his or her words.
Again if you are unable to understand his or her mind or every steps that she or he may take. You may understand that there are certain things you need not to quarrel or drag about.
Again observing your spouse mood, his or her happy and sad moments is a nice way to connect your hearts together, a better way of driving divorce away from you. You see that observation is very good in any relationship, because it’s not anything that a man or a woman needs to tell you but if you are able to observe his or her moods, it will be easier to know when things is going wrong and you will take correction immediately.
Another one is being unable to ask your partner because he or she may not know what you want but if you ask, you will see that you will get to know what he or she really wants. But if you don’t ask, he or she may feel that you don’t care about them and their feelings thereby regretting staying with you.

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8. Too much of assumptions and expectations.

This happens before marriage is taken place. Maybe you may assume that your spouse to be is a calm and nice person or a person with a good heart without tasting to be assured that he or she is what you think they are.
Again. Too much of expectations. People may expect to marry a man or a woman that has everything they may be expecting, but ended up marrying the opposite of what they thought. And that may lead to misbehaving due to you have found out that you are not into the kind of marriage you want to be. Expecting too much from your man or woman even after getting married, can lead to divorce because when that man or woman cannot afford to give you what ever you desired for, you will now start to be drawing backward making him or her to be tired too.
Too much of assumptions can kill person’s morale and courage. And expecting too much in return also can kills someone’s mind too because when your expectations does not work out for you, you may not be matured enough to control yourself and amend your ways for a better marriage.
You now see that too much if assuming and expectations can lead to divorce. “Reasons for divorce”

9. Lies

Lies is another major reason for divorce in so many marriages today. Lies in a relationship is a key to a collapsing marriage. If you ever start the foundation of your marriage with lies, remember that it will definitely end up very soon especially when those lies is something that you cannot be amended again.
For instance. As a man, you may see a lady and fall in love with her, instead of telling her the truth about yourself and what you can and cannot afford, you will go ahead to lie, claiming what you are not. Hiding your identity to her just because you want to win her heart for marriage. Note it that, whenever she may gets to know what you are really doing, that marriage will be at stake and may lead to divorce seriously.
Again for women, when you claim to be something that you are not and hide your true identity thinking that you have gotten him for yourself alone, forgotten that nothing is hidden under the sun. One day when he will get to know what you are truly, that marriage is automatically ended and you may not be able to control it. It is good not to lie in your marriage or relationship especially to your own spouse.

10. Anger

Anger is a small madness, because what you will spoil when you are angry will be greater than what caused your anger. So you see that, it is not a good thing to be angry especially too angry.
Not that you are supposed to get angry if you are being provoked. It just that you should always try not to get too angry that you can’t control yourself anymore. Control your temperament if you are hot tempered. If that case is much, then leave the house at least for that moment. Come back later to settle it with a low and romantic voice.
For instance. If your spouse provokes you to the extent that you can’t control it, if you hit her or him just to show that you are provoked, you may end up killing or even hurting him or her so badly that you yourself will even regret doing that after you must have calmed down. And that attitude alone will scare him or her and may even lead to divorce if it’s out of control.
You see anger is very deadly and one of the reasons for divorce, so take note of that. Stop announcing yourself to be a hot tempered man or woman.

In conclusion

Reasons for divorce is listed above and to control the flow of divorce in your marriage. You need to take note of everything and try as much as possible to avoid them in your marriage for a lasting marriage.
Most at times, we are not able to be looking into the most common things around us that can lead to divorce. Instead we concentrated our mind in just cheating and lack of money. Neglecting the other things around you that you can carelessly do without even knowing it. So my people do not neglect the little things that you may do to avoid divorce.

Above all, we believe that you are able to understand whatever you want to know about that. Drop your comments if you have any contributions if you can .
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Kindly visit our forum. Thanks.

“Reasons for divorce”

Onyedika Boniface

Born in family of life. Love seeing everybody in a peaceful and happy relationship and marriage. Address: no 23 Ase-Eme village, pH. Road, Ohabiam,Aba South, Abia State, Nigeria. Phone number: +2347062470552 Email: [email protected]

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