12 SIGNS TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE BEEN MANIPULATED BY YOUR LOVER OR PARTNER
If you think that you are been manipulated by your lover these are the signs you need to know for you to find out that you are been manipulated.
Do you think you are being manipulated ?
Sometimes we manipulate our partner to get things our way, we may at times do it purposely just for fun, we at times do it sneakily and subtly to get something without confronting them , and it is all fun and games for a while, as both partners realize that one of them is being arm-twisted into giving in.
Manipulation is cute the first few times or when is a harmless request from them, some of the request can go like this, your girlfriend or wife say something like “am not going to have sex with you tonight if you don be back on time” you can’t help but to smile about it. Or if your boyfriend or husband brings breakfast on bed and ask you if he can go out with the guys on a weekend , you may even laugh about it and accept his request.
But what if these cute threats turn into something darker or more bitter or agonizing?
Do you think you have the spine to stand and decline something if you think it would go against your principles or wishes?
Do you have the spine to stand your ground and say ‘no’ when you don’t want to do something?
It not easy to reflect within and ask yourself if you are a victim of manipulation in your relationship, but everything starts with self realization, if you can accept the fact that you are a victim of manipulation or emotional abuse, only then can you be able to try to work yourself out of the web manipulation that has been built around in you.
Use this 12 signs and ask yourself if you feels any of this symptoms around you or in your relationship, and if you are doing this things it time to take a stand and believe in yourself for who you are, or you just get work over all the time and there won’t be a thing you can do to stop your partner from using you or manipulating you.
- Anxiety.You feel anxious each time they want to ask for a favor. You fear they may ask you something that you can’t do, and yet, you know you can’t deny them their request because your heart always feel that you need to do what will always make your them feel happy with you without you knowing that you are been manipulated.
- You hate yourself. You hate yourself for being so weak for accepting the request made. You realize that they are using you or taking advantage of your niceness and generosity, but you are too timid too.
- You can’t say no. You can’t say no to them. Just the thought of turning them down or saying no seems like a crazy idea and you feel helpless and week each time you even try to say it. You know the right thing to do is say ‘no’ but you cant bring yourself to say it.
- Obligation.You believe you are obligated in doing something for them. You constantly feel grateful to them for loving you or being in your life.
- You can’t shut up. You just can’t say a simple no’ and shut up. You have a deep need to explain yourself and your actions every time, to everyone. You want your them to understand your mind and your reasons clearly. While your partner on the other hand is always vague or doesn’t justify the things they do.
- You justify your actions. You try to reason with yourself and justify that you aren’t being manipulated you will always try to convince yourself that it is you who want to do the favor for them.
- You are bad. You will always feel or look at yourself as a bad partner for turning them down no matter what they ask of you.
- Are you selfish. You will see yourself as a selfish person for not helping them in their troubles. You feel really guilty each time you turn their request down, you always feel so bad that you can’t even look them in their eyes because of all the guilty you are carrying you, it just seems so much easier to just hate yourself and do what they ask of you.
- Expectations grow. Your partner always expect more from you, no matter what you do or how much you do, they behave like they are happy and much pleased with your giving ways but they always ask for more which you will always see yourself struggling to do it for them.
- It’s your fault. You blame yourself for not being good to them and you feel guilty for being idle and relaxed when you could be doing something to please them or make them happy.
- You hate awkward pauses. When they ask you to do something for them, you may be able to muster your courage and say ‘no’ but as they pause and stare at you for a few seconds, you can’t help but still feel your stomach churn and then you give them another opportunity to use you once more just the way they always do.
- You can’t lie. Just because you can’t lie or anyone else that is manipulating you, even though you know you can never get caught, you can’t tell them that you are too busy or too occupied to do something for them but instead you accept it and always find a way to do it for them to be happy with you?
With these signs listed try to find out what you are to your partner and if they are manipulating you but please always try to make them happy don’t use this as a means to hurt you lover.
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